So I’ve taken the plunge and after 24 years am returning to the classroom to expand the mind and get a degree.
The first big decision was what to wear. Style is very important at seats of learning. It says sooooo much about you. What it usually says about me is ‘must try harder’. I was acutely aware I was going to look a middle aged old fart whatever I selected from my depressingly limited wardrobe. Jeans and T shirt were dismissed in favour of respectable chinos and a neatly pressed shirt. Coupled with a man bag I looked like a rather earnest social worker with a paunch.
I don’t know why I bothered. My fellow students in the classroom- nearly all under 25 and looking so cool without really trying- dismissed me as the class old codger with the dreaded ‘ah…bless’ look. The shame.
I cheered up as lunchtime approached. My inner body clock was telling me that Stella Artois was in the vicinity. Off we all went. My default setting in any pub is “a pint of lager please” without thinking where I am or who I’m with and I assumed many of my fellow students would be knocking back snakebite and absinthe chasers. But in a shock development which I may never recover from all 18 ordered soft drinks. So I did the same. It just didn’t feel right to be the class problem drinker. Well not yet anyway.
Fashion shame I can just about handle but a temperance degree? It’s going to be a long hard year.